Sunday, 4 March, 2012

"In Scotland, bird is spelled B I R, three more Rs and a D."

While I was off galivanting across the pond, I kind of kept a journal of my experiences, but never made time to type it all out and share it here, with all of you wonderful people. Here goes...

Evergreen to Calgary to London (July 27-30)

Since I found out on Tuesday (July 26) that the Passport Office had no record of my three attempts at applying for a passport, I was naturally a little distressed. I had, however, acquired instructions on how to obtain one in about three days, made all the arrangements, and headed off to Calgary, praying non-stop the whole way there and until I had my beautiful dark blue Canadian passport in my trembling hands on Friday at 4.15pm. Saturday by 2-something, Luke and I were in an airplane and headed to Europe! Because the girl with whom we were staying (KM) was Canadian and therefore didn't have a British driver's license, we took the Underground to the stop nearest her house. She met us there, and led the way to her house where we were offered, in no particular order, food, a bed and a shower. Since, by that time, it was 9 o'clock Sunday morning (and hadn't slept on the plane, being waaaay too excited) I took a short nap while Luke and KM went for a walk and caught up on each other's lives.

London (July 31-Aug 4)

Sunday was Sightseeing with Tour Guide KM day. With Luke and myself in tow, she led us through all the typical and some not-so-typical sights London has to offer. We experienced the Tube, we saw Abbey Road, Westminister Abbey, Buckingham Palace, Hyde Park, the National Museum, Platform 9 3/4 in Kings Cross, found the Globe Theatre (for me) and Fleet Street (for Luke), saw the outside of St. Paul's Cathedral, ate dinner at the Hard Rock Cafe (my first Hard Rock experience, and where I learned that it was actually the first/original Hard Rock Cafe. Win!), then went back to her place and fell into bed by 10.30pm.

Monday and Wednesday were do-whatever-we-want days, and since we were staying at a hostel, we got to fully experience London from a tourist's perspective. Shared accomodations, communal washrooms, and zero privacy were what motivated us to spend most of our days sightseeing. The hostel itself (London Backpackers) was quite nice, and the staff/other guests were super nice and helpful, too. We had the opportunity to meet up with friends from Leth who were just on the last bit of their 10 week-long European Adventure, and did absolutely everything we could to make that happen. I mean, really, who actually says "Hey, let's get together in London one day and have a pint," and then actually makes it a reality? It was a pretty awesome experience, to say the least.

Sidenote: I'd like to take this opportunity to share Brad and Char's awesome European Adventure stories which can be found here.

Also, St. Paul's? Ridiculously expensive, but SO worth it! Oh my gosh. People had described it to me, I'd seen the picture in a friend's living room, Luke told me about it, but even after all that I was still on the fence about wanting to go at all. I'd even Googled pictures of the dome, and still didn't really want to go in. But when, in the middle of my audio tour as I was alone right behind the high altar and in front of the most breathtaking stained glass windows, the hourly prayers began and the priest instructed everyone who was in the building at the time to recite the Lord's Prayer in their native language... God was so present in that place, I was in tears by 'Thy kingdom come.' Completely indescribable. I only wish I could recreate the experience.

Back to Tuesday: Early Tuesday morning, Luke and I embarked on a day trip around the British countryside, seeing Windsor Castle, Stonehenge and Oxford. We didn't really know where we were going when we left to find the location of the tour company's office, but we figured out where we were supposed to be (read: Jesus was guiding us there), and life was good. We all crammed into a Mercedes-Benz coach bus for the trip, and by crammed, I mean that the bus was huuuge and everyone had sufficient enough room so as not to be sitting on the person next to them, in front of them, and across the aisle from them all at the same time. In short, the bus was gorgeous and spacious and smelled good (and even had a toilet and a coffee bar!). The trip got off to a smashing start with a tour of Windsor Castle, and because the Queen happened to be at Buckingham Palace that day, we were allowed to actually go take the tour instead of only being allowed to view the outside from a safe distance (which had happened to tour groups before). Fun fact about Windsor: Elton John lives there!


The next leg of the trip was Stonehenge. Now, I had anticipated being able to get closer to the rocks than the fence had allowed, so I was a little disappointed that I had to pay 7 pounds to walk in a circle 30ft away from the monument. Despite the distance, it was cool to see it in person... maybe not 7 pounds cool, but still cool nonetheless.

Oxford, however, was the highlight of the tour for me. Technically Oxford as a whole is both a city and a Universtiy at the same time. (Warning! To fully understand the rest of this explanation, you need to be able to overlook your North American definition of what a college and university are.) I've pulled this next bit off Oxford University's website because after having been asked this question a million times, they have developed the perfect definintion of the institution:

"There are 38 independent, self-governing colleges at Oxford University.

The collegiate system is at the heart of the University’s success, giving students and academics the benefits of belonging to both a large, internationally renowned institution and to a smaller, interdisciplinary, academic college community. It enables leading academics and students across subjects and year groups, and from different cultures and countries to come together to share ideas.

All Colleges invest heavily in facilities for extensive library and IT provision, accommodation and welfare support, and sports and social events. The relatively small number of students at each college allows for close and supportive personal attention to be given to the induction, academic development and welfare of individuals.

Each college has its own Governing Body, comprising the Head of House and a number of Fellows, most of whom also hold University posts. There are also six Permanent Private Halls, which were founded by various Christian denominations and still retain their religious character."

(Source: http://www.ox.ac.uk/colleges/the_collegiate_system/index.html)

Did you get all that? Hopefully you did, but if not, I would suggest following the link above and reading the articles on that page; it's quite interesting how it all works.

On our tour, we were able to walk through Christ Church College, and it was absolutely stunning. If I were ever to move abroad for university, I would head for Oxford in a heartbeat (over anywhere in Scotland, figure that out!). Seriously, look it up and then as you're looking at the pictures, imagine it to be 290x more beautifully breathtaking in person. 2 Fun facts about Christ Church College: 1-The stairwell scenes in Harry Potter (you know the one with the staircases that shift about?) were shot at Christ Church! 2- The dining hall in Christ Church was used for inspiration for the Great Hall in HP. Whoever was in charge of finding locations before they shot HP had asked Christ Church to shoot in both the dining hall and the stairwell of their school, but the school said no because they thought that the film crew using both locations (and they are pretty close together, if my memory serves correct) would disrupt the students too much, so they told the HP people to choose between the two, shoot in one and use the other one as inspiration. I think they chose well; what do you think?

Scotland (Aug 4-10)

Thursday morning I woke up with a jolt, much like a kid on Christmas morning (and I mean "wake up" in the same sense as a kid at Christmas... you know, after lying in bed wide awake for 6-7 hours in anticipation of the upcoming day).

[Now, despite having purchased the tickets, taken an airplane to Europe and bumming around/sightseeing for the past 4 days, I still wasn't fully convinced that I was actually going to see Scotland in person. Weird, I know, but think of it this way: This was my first trip out of the country in which I grew up, and Scotland was a place close to half-way around the world... a place I'd seen in movies and pictures and read about in numerous books and even dreamt of a few times. Through everything that happened in the days, weeks and months before the trip, it still all felt like a dream that was too good to be true. I actually had this terrible feeling following me around for the better part of 10 days that it was all in fact a dream, and that in the seconds before I was going to step off the train in Scotland, I would wake up. If that had happened, I'm really not sure what I would have done after I had finished crying.]

Back to the story, though: The moment Luke and I stepped on the train, I felt like my entire life had been propelled toward this trip. Everything I had endured and experienced just made me appreciate this trip that much more. It seems weird to put it in writing, but I felt complete in Scotland. Of course I knew I was still myself, but I felt like a better version of myself; Lacey 2.0, if you will. The train is also a marvelous way to travel into the country of your dreams, for the record. It was almost as if God had made me go through all the crap and challenges to get to Scotland, and as soon as I stepped foot on the train to Edinburgh, Jesus paved the entire way for me in flipping diamonds! I wish I could remember everything He did for me during my time in Scotland, but that post would probably rival this one in length.

In Edinburgh, our first hostel (Belford Hostel) was a refurbished church. I got to lay in bed and stare at the gorgeous stained glass windows. Seriously cool. I was thrown into a room with four Koreans whose only English was "hello," which was a little less than desirable, but I didn't let it get me down 'cause Belford had free wi-fi. Unfortunately, because of the timing of our trip being during the time of both the International Fringe Festival (the largest fringe festival in the world) and the Military Tattoo (world-renowned and super famous military performance), Luke and I were unable to find accomodations for more than two nights at a time. The upside of that situation was that we got to experience a variety of different places in which to stay (good research for my next trip...). For our first few days in Edinburgh, Luke and I mostly did our sightseeing by ourselves, instead of together. We did the big tours together like Edinburgh Castle, Holyrood Palace, etc... but for the most part, we stuck to our own schedules.

Two things that were really cool highlights in Edinburgh: touring Edinburgh Castle and seeing the Military Tattoo. We had wanted to do both in the same day, so before we went to the Castle, we stopped in at the Tattoo Office to buy tickets for that evening's performance. I swear my entire body went numb and the world stopped turning for a second or two, then tilted on its axis when the guy behind the counter told me that every single show was sold out during the time we were in Scotland. I thanked the man, and Luke and I went to the Castle for the tour. For some reason, Luke had a knack for bringing hopeless causes back from the dead the whole time we were in Europe. As soon as we got to the end of our tour, he said that it couldn't hurt to check the ticket office one more time. Maybe we might find a guy standing outside selling tickets that we could buy, even. Well, when we got back to the Tattoo Office, we indeed found a guy outside selling his tickets, but I went inside to try my luck anyways. I approached the same ticket man as before, and asked him again if there were any tickets left for any show in the next few days. He pushed a bunch of buttons, then an odd and confused look crossed his face as he said "it seems I have two front-row tickets that I can sell for 20 pounds each." (Sidenote: the cheapest tickets I could find advertised anywhere were 40 pounds each.) I eagerly purchased both tickets and proceeded to float back to our hostel and then back to Edinburgh Castle a couple hours later for the show. My thoughts on the show? It's a large part of what brought me to Scotland, and I would go back in a heartbeat. I would also highly recommend anyone and everyone see it for themselves.

While in Scotland, we did two bus tours. Our first went in a little circle north east of Edinburgh and stopped by the Wallace Monument (but not long enough to hike up the hill, mind you) in Stirling, Doune Castle (where Monty Python and the Holy Grail was filmed), we flew through the Trossachs and Callandar, then stopped at Falkirk for a few mintues before our tour guide Tony propelled us back to Edinburgh. And when I said 'flew by' and 'propelled,' I mean just that. I honestly thought I was going to be flung into the lap of the gentleman sitting across the aisle from me whenever we turned a corner, so I spent the majority of our bus tours thanking Jesus that the use of seatbelts was mandatory in all motor vehicles. Roads in Scotland aren't as gracious as the roads here in Alberta, either. They don't have any kind of shoulder, so it's roadditch; the only lines on the road are the ones in the middle, separating the left from the right. Speaking of the lines that separate the left from the right, after spending some time in different modes of transportation driven by Scots, I've determined that those lines are really only there for the comfort of the tourists. The locals don't really give a crap about whether or not they're straddling the center line while going what felt like 200 km/hr around a super curvy road. It also seems that the roads there followed alongside the paths of the many, many, many lakes, rivers and coastlines, so it's really hard to find a road that's actually straight for more than a kilometre or two. Their rule of thumb seems to be 'the windier, the better' and 'hey, let's keep the tourists guessing what we might hit around the next corner' when it comes to the rural roads.

Our second bus tour driver's name had slipped both the memory of both myself and Luke just as soon as he had introduced himself, so we referred to tour guide #2 as Not Tony (as Tony was the name of the other Scottish tour guide). We also liked Tony better than Not Tony, hence why we only made the effort to remember one of their names. (I think the name of the second one was John, but I really couldn't be certain.) On this tour, we stopped by the Wallace Monument again, but were actually given time to hike up the formidable hill and admire the stunning view for a few seconds before having to pile back on the bus. Then Tour Guide Not Tony sped us through the winding roads in what the Scots call mountains (but Canadians would call foothills), to Drumnadrochit, then no less than 1km later to Loch Ness. Now the rest of the population of the tour bus had paid for a trip on a boat around Loch Ness to "try and spot Nessie." As Luke abhors boats and I'm terrified of large bodies of water, naturally we headed for the nearest pub for supper, then to our hostel for an early bedtime.

For some mysterious reason, I've felt for a long time that I'm supposed to live in Inverness at some point in my life. I don't even think I've ever seen pictures of it, but that feeling still stands. We were supposed to stop in Inverness for lunch on our way home from Loch Ness, but Not Tony felt like we were so far behind schedule that we didn't. I was a little disappointed, but felt that God would lead me there eventually, so I didn't dwell on it for more than a few minutes.

As we made our way home, Not Tony took the opportunity of having a docile audience to tell us the political history of Scotland.

[Note: Both tour guides (as I suspect all are trained to do) told us stories of Scotland's history and folklore while we were driving from location to location. We also got to listen to authentic Scottish bands, which was sometimes akin to listening to Bob Dylan-esque folk songs done strictly on pan flutes, bohdrans and bagpipes, with the occasional guitar thrown in for effect. Tour guide Tony was good for the folklore and humerous side of the historical stories, where as Not Tony was really passionate about the political side of everything. At points it seemed like we were in a University class on a tour bus. Nonetheless, I learned a lot about the country, and enjoyed 99% of the time on the tours.]

Back to the tour: If you've ever been on a bus tour before, you know that there are certain stereotypes on each tour. These usually include (but are not limited to): the wealthy Europeans, the duo of divorcees who smoke like chimneys, an Asian family of about 5-7 people (none of whom speak a word of English), a couple of 20-somethings on a gap year, a couple on their honeymoon, a couple Canadians, and usually at least one ignorant American couple. The ratios also don't tend to change as the population of the tour increases, which is interesting. But hey, people from all over the world like to travel, I guess. It just seemed like the tour companies tried to put the same mix of people on each tour.

Fun Fact: It was around the time of the first bus tour that the London Riots were happening, but seeing as Luke and I had limited media access while in Scotland, we hadn't heard a single word about them. Consequently, my mother had been beside herself worried that I was dead in a ditch somewhere half way around the world, when in reality I was having the time of my life in a different country.

When we got back to Edinburgh on Wednesday evening, I was physically, mentally, and emotionally spent. From spending so much time with strangers to fighting with Luke, the last bus tour had taken pretty much everything out of me. Top that off with the fact that I still hadn't acquired the one souvenir I had to buy in Edinburgh: Cort's jersey.


Now I had thought this would be the easiest of all requested souvenirs to purchase. The current Scotland RWC jerseys could only be purchased in Scotland at a sport shop, and I had three full days to myself to find it. Holy crap, was I wrong. It almost seemed like Jesus didn't want me to buy that stupid thing, that's how many issues I had getting it. At first I couldn't find any sport shops, then I couldn't find any of the correct jerseys in the sport shop I had found, then my favourite part (which happened the evening we got back from the second bus tour and were preparing to leave on the night bus in a few short hours) was when I could see a bunch of those dang jerseys through the glass of a shop that had closed 10 minutes prior. I wanted to scream, cry, and throw up all at the same time. I think Luke said something about God providing one eventually and that everything would work out, but the buzzing in my ears was too loud for me to confirm that.


Defeated, we left the front of the shop and decided to wander around and see if we could find anything interesting to do for the next few hours. After a couple blocks, we found a park that had a really cool-looking little coffee shop with some chairs out front, so people could both buy and enjoy their coffee in the park. Super cool. Since I was sporting a pretty sweet headache from the stress caused by a jersey and the realization that I was about to leave Scotland, I decided it was high time for a coffee and a very large cookie. Upon entering the coffee shop, I was met with the most attractive man I've ever seen. Seriously, I thought I was hallucinating, he was that attractive. I ordered, and we chatted about our tattoos while he made my coffee (he had this really cool sleeve of birds flying up his arm). I'd like to take this moment to point out that I am learning that I can't tell when someone is flirting with me... this will be important in about 5 seconds. As Luke and I were walking away, I noticed that he'd put quite a bit of extra espresso in my mocha, and after removing the lid I saw he'd also drawn a heart in the foam on top. Yup, hadn't even realized it.

After wandering for a little while longer, finding Edinburgh's Hard Rock Cafe (seriously, what's with men and HRC?), and buying t-shirts, we boarded the grungiest coach bus I've ever seen and proceeded with the most uncomfortable 8 hour bus ride back to London.


Life lesson: The night bus in real life is nowhere near as cool as Harry Potter makes it out to be.

London again (Aug 11-12)


After a terribly uncomfortable, bumpy and sleepless night, we arrived back in London around stupid o'clock in the morning. 6? 8? I definitely don't remember. I do remember, however, calling my mom somewhere between stops #1-2 on our bus ride, and letting her know that I was safe in a different country and not dead in a ditch as she had been imagining.


Life lesson: Always check the news of everywhere you visit whilst on vacation, and don't wait 3 days to do parental damage control. They don't appreciate it.

After finding our way back to KM's house, having a much appreciated shower, some breakfast, and a delightful chat with some of her flatmates, KM, Luke and I headed out to catch the last few sights we'd missed the first time around. Namely, the Tower of London which was a lot cooler than I'd anticipated, but because I was really tired, I don't really remember a lot of it. The highlights (as usual on tours of castles) were lots of people being beheaded. And Fleet Street again, so Luke could try and find a place that would shave his beard with a straight razor, but to no avail. So, back to KM's place we went. KM, being Canadian, had made her flatmates watch a few episodes of Corner Gas after receiving season 2 in a care package from her parents. Her English friends didn't appreciate the humour in the least, so Luke, KM and I watched a couple hours of good ol' Canadian TV and then went to bed.

Before heading to bed, we had agreed to be at the airport by 6.30, so we could have time to jump through all the international security hoops. The next thing I remember, Luke was knocking on my door telling me it was 6.40. Within the next 15 minutes we were packed, goodbyed, out the door, and on the Tube to Victoria Station, where we would catch a shuttle to Gatwick... where we would hopefully not be late for our non-refundable flight. I don't remember a lot of the expedition to Gatwick due to stress and prayer being my priorities, but I do vividly remember feeling rediculous having my flip flops scanned through a machine and being patted down coming through security, and then being the first to arrive at our terminal a half an hour after we were scheduled to be there. Guess Jesus was with us or something. I swear the moment we sat down on the plane was one of the sweetest victories of the whole trip.

London to Calgary to Lethbridge to Evergreen (Aug 13-14)


Aaaand back to Canada we came. Safe and sound and in relatively the same condition as when we left 13 days prior (jet lag had kicked Luke in the face). What better way can you think of to celebrate having just finished an 8-hour-long flight than to take a 2.5 hour car trip? We took a quick trip to Leth to deposit some gifts purchased on the trip, go to church, say hi to Brad and Char again, pick up the last of the stuff Luke needed to move to Calgary, and headed back out to camp so I could get back to work. The two weeks had gone so terribly fast for me, and yet when I started talking to my friends who'd been at camp during that time, it felt like months had passed.


All of that being said, all of the credit card bills paid, all of the pictures reviewed, and having caught up on all the sleep I missed those months I was at camp (and despite sleeping quite a bit on the trip, the stress/jet lag cancelled it all out), I would do it all again in a heartbeat. To be honest, I've made the resolution that every choice I make and everything I do with my money will be weighed on how it will help me get to Scotland again. I miss it that much, and yes I do plan on staying for much, much longer than two weeks the next time I land over there.


And now that my European saga has come to an end, I'm going to sign off with the motto that got me through every difficult situation, stress, worry, hard time, and mess thrown at me last year:



"Your will, Jesus, not mine."

Sunday, 25 December, 2011

xmas 2011

Wow, is 2012 already right around the corner? What a year this has been. What a year, indeed. I've done things and gone places I never thought possible, and yet still haven't accomplished things I had it in mind to have done almost 3 years ago now. Since my five year plan is up as of January 1, and the last and most important thing on the list was to move to Scotland (and since that clearly isn't going to happen now), I guess I'll have to work on another plan. Mostly I'm disappointed in not actually being able to go through with that plan, but life goes on, right?

Speaking of life moving on, I would like to share something with you, dear reader. I'm not wanting to seem morbid or insensitive by saying this, but it's come up in conversation quite a bit this past year, and I feel like it needs to be said; no more beating around the bush or speaking in metaphors. (Have I mentioned that I hate metaphors?) Despite all the things seemingly stacked against me in my life right now, I am still thankful, quite simply, for my life. I haven't told many people before, but I am a survivor of attempted suicide. It's not something I'm proud of, but I am very thankful that it didn't work. It was a long time ago, and the details don't matter, but I feel like it needs to be shared. I'd also like to say that I don't still struggle with depression, but I've learned that it's not something that will ever completely go away... I have just learned to not let it control me or my thoughts anymore. I've also become quite fond of Ovid's quote "Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." There. Confession time over.

I am thankful for the friends I've made and the friends I've kept since that terrible time in my life. I am also thankful for my relationship with God, no matter how much I've tried to run away, hide, or deny Him, He's always been there. I've always really liked the analogy 'No matter how many steps you take away from God, He's always one step behind you. Always ready to catch you if you fall or hug you if you turn around.' I'll never be alone. No matter how much I feel lonely, I will never be alone.

In light of this time of year being one for reflection, I'm going to (finally!) share stories of my time in Europe. Since I'm 99% certain of the fact that it will probably rival my summer post for length, I'm going to make it its own entry... and to save your eyes and my sense of organization.

I'll leave this with my yearly post of O Holy Crap. It's a tradition now, so y'all are just going to have to deal with it. If you don't like it, here's your warning for next year: it'll be in my xmas post, lying silently and waiting to jump out at you when you click the link.

I love you all dearly and hope that this Christmas season was good to you, and that it brought you joy in some measure (hopefully in heaps). And always remember that God is good. All the time. God is good.

Saturday, 26 November, 2011

No Place Like Home...

Life post-camp is slooooooow. Slower than slow, actually. I've spent the past three weeks (has it only been that long?! Sheesh.) re-learning how to live in the city, and within sight of my neighbors... all 60 of them.

Day by day, and now week by week, I've been settling back into my appartment, small group, circle of friends, and old life. I refer to my life pre-camp as old simply because I left Leth behind, and changed, grew, and struggled in different ways than my friends here did. So I left in May looking forward to the future, and have returned home a new woman to a new Leth. I've struggled a little, but in hindsight, I think it's all just part of the giant re-adjustment phase.

Throughout my time at camp, I've learned to be a lot less sarcastic and a lot more loving with my words. I've also learned to listen more and provide structured, challenging and helpful responses to situations in which I didn't know how to respond in such a manner that would bring any kind of positive outcome in the past. It has started me on a journey of growth and love that I hope I will never tire of being on.

I was fed up of being flung into situations that left me feeling helpless or useless, which in turn sometimes left others feeling helpless or even hopeless. Unfortunately, and much to my dismay, I have learned the quip 'fake it 'til you make it' doesn't always work (which was a mantra that got me through culinary school). After going through a bunch of fairly intense situations at camp, I've done my best to re-train my initial thoughts/reactions in a situation where I'm feeling helpless or that my hands are tied. When in doubt, I find the most useful piece of advise is to lead like Jesus. Allow Him to own your thoughts, words and actions. Stand firm in your faith and, through His love, you will be transformed. A piece of Scripture I'm working on memorizing (in hopes of having it handy in sticky situations when I need to check myself before responding, or when I just need something to hold on to) is James 4:1-10 from the Message translation. I find that I like how blunt it is.

1 Where do you think all these appalling wars and quarrels come from? Do you think they just happen? Think again. They come about because you want your own way, and fight for it deep inside yourselves.

2 You lust for what you don't have and are willing to kill to get it. You want what isn't yours and will risk violence to get your hands on it. You wouldn't think of just asking God for it, would you? 3 And why not? Because you know you'd be asking for what you have no right to. You're spoiled children, each wanting your own way.

[And here's where it gets personal] 4 You're cheating on God. If all you want is your own way, flirting with the world every chance you get, you end up enemies of God and His way. 5 And do you suppose God doesn't care? The proverb has it that 'He's a fiercely jealous lover.' 6 And what he gives in love is far better than anything else you'll find. It's common knowledge that 'God goes against the willful proud; God gives grace to the willing humble.'

7 So let God work His will in you. Yell a loud no to the devil and watch him scamper. 8 Say a quiet yes to God and He'll be there in no time. Quit dabbling in sin. Purify your inner life. Quit playing the field. 9 Hit bottom, and cry your eyes out. The fun and the games are over. Get serious, really serious. 10 Get down on your knees before the Master; it's the only way you'll get on your feet.

I think I'll leave you with that for now, dear reader, mostly because it's 3:15am and I have a lot to accomplish tomorrow (actually, later today). Go in peace, thanks be to God.

God is good. All the time. God is good.

Wednesday, 12 October, 2011

the only 12 1/2 writing rules you'll ever need

1. If you write every day, you get better at writing every day.
2. If it's boring to you, it's boring to your reader.
3. Get a writing routine and stick with it.
4. Poetry does NOT have to rhyme. Poetry does NOT have to rhyme.
5. Resist stereotypes (in real life and in your writing).
6. Writers read. Writers read a lot. Writers read all the time.
7. Make lists of your favourite words and books and places and things.
8. There doesn't always have to be a moral to the story.
9. Always bring your notebook. Always bring a spare pen.
10. Go for walks. Dance. Pull weeds. Do the dishes. Write about it.
11. Don't settle on just one style. Try something new!
12. Learn to tell both sides of the story.
12 1/2. Write something!

Saturday, 20 August, 2011

Saturday

This week, Saturday is my perfect day of rest, relaxation, and restoration. It's just sad that after so many weeks of absolutely loving my job so, so much, and never wanting some weeks to end that this past week I found myself counting down to Saturday. I'm not sure exactly what changed in the two weeks I was gone, but I can tell there's been a change, and it's not all in myself that I see these changes. Maybe the pace of the summer is just wearing on people, maybe the lack of sleep is finally catching up, maybe people are finally admitting they're sick (even though they've been sick for a while), or maybe I changed in the time I was gone and everyone else is just moving in a different direction than I am... everyone together, except me. There are a thousand maybes, but I have no answers. Maybe it's not my place to have answers.

However, I thank God every day for good friends, good food, and good conversation... even though sometimes those things are all I have to lean on to keep my mental stability. I still thank God for the opportunity to even be out here, as it's seemed either too good to be true or like a dream most of the time (up until 5 days ago, actually). I've found myself praying for peace, patience and kindness towards others quite often this week, and I can tell that despite not receiving an audible answer, God still has His ways of giving me respite whether it's through a chat with a friend, standing outside in the sunlight for the first time in a day, laughing so hard my ribs ache, drinking a really, really good cup of coffee, or listening to really great music at work and dancing around for the better part of an hour. God is good.

All the time. God is good.

Monday, 15 August, 2011

Challenge by Choice

(Written July 9)


I'd like to write a little (potentially a lot) about the newest and best change to Staff Training (aka Leadership Week) 2011. It's called Challenge by Choice, and it allows each person participating in an activity to choose their own level of involvement, keeping themselves physically, mentally and spiritually safe throughout the course of the activity. Before I go into any theories about the week, I'd like to share some of my stories/experiences.


1-Now I'm not the biggest fan of heights, which shouldn't be a surprise to anyone. To give you a little more perspective, when I was in choir in high school I was always standing on the floor at the front of the choir, because I was too uncomfortable to stand on the risers. So, after saying that, my post about the zip line should give you some perspective on that one. I'll leave that one for a minute.


2-For the past few years... actually, more since the fifth grade, to be exact (with a few exceptions), I haven't really cried a whole lot, and especially not in public. I would run away from anything and anyone, just so no one could see or hear me cry; the result of which was a fairly hardened heart. It wasn't the healthiest of coping techniques, but it's how I dealt with life. Over the past week, I think I've cried more (in public, for the record) than in the past two years. I'll leave that one for a minute, too.


3-(And this is the hardest one to admit) I've been struggling with the thought that coming out to camp was a mistake. I knew they needed help, and being all graduated and qualified and stuff, I wanted to help my friends in their time of need. Now, before I say anything else, there's a big difference between wanting to go and being called to go. Camp is intense enough that if you don't feel the initial call, I would question your motivation for being there. That being said, however, I've been talking to people since I moved out here, and very few of them were called specifically to Egreen... a fact which is making me question my theory. But, to be honest, I quite expected life to be all sunshine and rainbows all Spring/Summer, and living through the day to day struggles kind of shattered the dream and made me question some stuff (like the decision to have moved out there in the first place).


Now for the reason for this post: my opinion on Challenge by Choice. When I first heard about it, I honestly thought it was kind of dumb (sorry Bear). Looking back on the spring and Staff Training week now that I've lived through it, I have an intensely deep love and gratitude for its implementation.


I believe that I would still be the same emotional wreck that I was when I got out here May 30 if it weren't for CbC. When it was first explained to us near the beginning of Staff Training, my initial reaction to it was 'Oh, good. An easy way out for the people who just don't want to do an activity.' Immature thoughts like that definitely do not bring a staff together, and for that I'm sorry; I now realize my error. I wish that I could re-train my automatic reactions, but I think that learning from them (whether positive or negative) is a better use of knowledge and development of wisdom.


My best explanation of what CbC has done for me is to just say that when something (say, a particularly disliked staff training activity which has been done for years, for example) is mandatory, you may get 100% participation, but you certainly will not earn the trust or respect of the people being forced into remarkably awkward and sometimes painful situations. They say that you will lure more bees with honey than with sh*t. I have to say, it's true. By expressing your concern for others' feelings, it will in turn allow them to open up and trust you.


I heard Bear say (more than once before each activity, for the record), 'I don't mind if you're afraid of something we're doing; it's how you respond to that fear that matters the most.' Something else she said that I'll remember forever is, 'You have to challenge people to push their own limits, and you have to support someone when they're afraid. For example, if you're at the zip line and it kills you to think about going up to the platform... and it takes absolutely everything you've got to just put a harness on, that's great! Congratulations! I'm here for you.' For a little back story, the fall/winter I lived out here, I was trained to belay on the climbing wall (which you have to wear a harness to do... so I know full well how to put one on, properly check it, etc.). When it came down to actually putting on the harness and climbing up the ladder to the 25ft platform, I couldn't remember how or bring myself to actually put the stupid thing on. It was embarrassing, to say the least... but I got through it eventually, and obviously lived to tell the tale. If I had the chance, I may go back and do some things differently through the course of the zip line evening, but all in all I'm ridiculously proud of the fact that I did it at all.


(Written July 22)


So, looking back on the first three weeks of summer, I have been stretched, tested, questioned, stressed, pushed, yelled at, hugged, cried to, confided in, and thrown so far out of my comfort zone so many times I can't even keep track anymore. I've learned to live and work with many, many different people, and have also come to love a large percentage of them, too. To be able to look back on the summer so far with such a different perspective about absolutely everything is refreshing, to say the least. I believe God has given the staff of Egreen this summer the chance to sink or swim... as a team. I also believe that, even though it was never said out loud (that I'm aware of) the summer itself is a Challenge by Choice. In the staff body, each person has to willingly make the decision to hold hands with the people who surround them on a daily basis and jump in with both feet. And it's only when that All For One And One For All mentality is achieved that we can stop focusing on ourselves, but instead focus on everything surrounding us, and in turn have the chance to impact the lives of so many children.


Over the past couple months, I've been constantly challenged by one of the wisest people I know (in a way that positively influences others to think about their actions/reactions, not in the 'I want to punch you every time I see you' kind of way), and as a result, I think I've become a slightly more well-rounded person and am now seeing small glimpses in myself of what kind of leader I am destined to be. And if others are smart enough to put this person's wisdom, knowledge and experience to good use and heed advice when it's given, I think camp as a whole would become a more positive experience for everyone. I know you know who you are, so thank you for being you. It's inspiring to see God have such a strong hold on someone's entire life, and to see them live life so fully for Him.


(Written July 30)


What I'm trying to say, though, is the summer isn't over yet, folks; time to get up and go! I challenge everyone who reads this to look at life as a challenge, and not merely as a series of choices laid out in front of them. Sometimes the correct answer IS the mystery option that was never presented, laughing at yourself and moving on, or running away.


God also gave us a challenge, too: don't compare yourself on others' work (Galatians 6:4 says, "But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbour." Although I seem to like the Message's version better, "Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don't be impressed with yourself. Don't compare yourself to others."). Just because What'sHisName over there can waltz up to a situation and conquer it without fear doesn't mean that you can face the same situation the same way... Every single person on the planet is different, so go by no one's limits but your own, and allow God to challenge you every day (whether that's hugging someone who needs it, listening to people more than talking with them, or jumping off the zipline). Whatever your deal is, it's between no one but you and God.


(Written August 15)


Ultimately, I'd like to have seen some things go differently, run smoother, or have better outcomes this summer, even though the summer isn't over yet. I'd also like to be able to fully put into words what kind of effect this summer has had on my life, but every time I try it comes out sounding silly and immature... I wish I could change that.

Wow, this post has gone from simple entry to some kind of impromptu saga... whoops. Well, I guess I can leave this ridiculously long post with a simple thought:

Challenge by Choice (and Bear for its implementation), thank you. You've done the world a favour.